I’ve been interested in branching out my skill set lately, so when I saw the new Harvest Moon come available I decided to partake and see how I was at farming. I had previoustly tried Farming Simulater ’19 and was tickled when I realized it’s first person while you walk around the farm, then my mood lessened when I realized I would have to actually operate the virtual machinery correctly. Like the word “simulator” would suggest. I realized I made a terrible mistake and uninstalled it.

So to continue my streak of not being able to read good or do other things good too, I found out upon firing up my Harvest Moon game that it’s not a normal Harvest Moon, but Harvest Moon: Mad Dash. A puzzle game that revolves around planting and then harvesting crops and doing other farming-related activites, but this time at a very cracked-out pace. Thus the name “mad dash”. What I also discovered is a really cute, fun little puzzler that can be fun for the whole family. Also elves in pajamas. Or I think they’re pajamas. I hope it’s pajamas and not their actual skin, because that would be the thing nightmares are made of.

So what’s up with this crazy game? Well, basically some lighthouse on the island you’re on is busted, and to keep the island from looking like a jungle and having the homeowners’ association come after you, you have to collect these things called “Time Seeds”, which are not to be confused with the “time haters” from Chappelle’s Show, and restore light to the lighthouse with them. I don’t know why they’re called “time seeds” and not “light seeds” instead, and I don’t know why being a jungle is so bad, but I don’t write for video games so it’s beyond me. That’s it though. You go from level to level progressing toward collecting each of the time seeds until you get to the lighthouse to revive it. It’s about as paper thin as plots can get.

The bulk of the gameplay is picking up crops that appear randomly through the level, place them adjecent to matching crop types in order to make them grow, and the harvest them when they’re fully grown. Take too long or try to make the crops too big, and they’ll die and you’ll just have to harvest their lifeless, depressing grey corpse of what they once were. Did I just take this in a dark direction? Well don’t let them die and you won’t have to feel this way.

So yeah, you’ve got blueberries, pumpkins, onions, cows, chickens, fish, and all manner of Harvest Moon staples to farm as quickly as you can before the time runs out. You’ll get stars for milestones in each level and those stars are used as currency to purchase perks that’ll give you an advantage in levels you’re having trouble with. Everything from giving you another 30 seconds to upping your power meter, stuff like that.

It’s pretty festive and basically reminds me of what I see after a half dozen Corona-ritas at my favorite Mexican restaurant.

The game starts off super simple and easy and progresses in difficulty, eventually adding in wild boars that stomp on your crops (and your confidence), magma that burns the ground, and ice that falls from the sky and not only freezes your crops but also freezes any crops adjacent to it. Couple that with levels that are in shaps that restrict your ability to plant and harvest, and things get pretty challenging later on. I will mention that the game doesn’t really add these in until about 15 or so levels in, so before that, the game eases you in a little too slowly to a point where you’re wondering if it’s going to get any more interesting.

And speaking of power meter, the more you harvest and complete orders by the boxes at the bottom of the screen and the dog in the corner, you’ll fill up that power bar, and that’s where the game really gets crazy. Everything becomes available to harvest instantly at that point and you can just run around the screen collecting as much as you can before the level slows back down. This is great for a big score boost and can help get you over the hump of some of the more challenging levels. Also you get this fun crazy music with the elves showing up all over and dancing around. It’s pretty festive and basically reminds me of what I see after a half dozen Corona-ritas at my favorite Mexican restaurant.

There’s also a multiplayer mode and you can have your friends drop in and out of single player at any time. It’s 100% co-op so its sole purpose is to help each other get through some trickier levels. Or if you play with someone who has no intention of cooperating with you then it’ll make the game harder. But if that’s the case then I have to ask – why are you friends with that person to begin with?

Anyway. So my main gripes with the game is that the startup is slow and as I mentioned already, you can get pretty bored early on. You have to stick through it to get to the more interesting levels and even then, you will feel like you’ve seen all there is to see by about level 25. The game’s pace does make it easy to jump in and out in 5-10 minutes at a time, so it’s likely the developers didn’t intend for you to play for long sessions. If you’re looking for a traditional Harvest Moon game, then obviously this ain’t it. Go buy Harvest Moon: Light of Hope or if you’d like something a little more Indie, check out Stardew Valley. Or go outside and dig up your lawn to make your own farm. Also buy livestock to store out back. Your neighbors will love that.

So that’s about sums it up. If you just want to play an arcade-style puzzler that doesn’t require much of a time commitment, then I think this is an easy recommendation, especially if you have little ones at home who are still learning to game, in which case playing co-op with them is going to be a lot of fun. They’ll feel like they’re contributing and they’re also learning teamwork with you, also to a less realistic extent they’re learning about farming and cows and avoiding magma.